Mommy Confessions: A Mom Opens up About her New Role as Parent

By: Nicole Wheeler
Oct
31
2014

As a first time mom, I really didn’t know what to expect. I knew it was going to be hard and truthfully, I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, but I had a lot of love to give. People tell you what it’s going to be like, but you don’t actually understand until you’re there. I honestly never thought I’d say to myself “Hallefreakinglujah my baby is asleep”. But the truth is I am not alone. So, here are a couple of my mommy confessions you can read when you feel guilty for thinking those thoughts, or if you don’t (liar) just read it to make you feel better about yourself.

Bathroom or best friend? Yeah, I admit it. The bathroom is my new best friend. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told my husband, “I have to go, hold Liam”. 30 minutes later I come out feeling like I got a break. No, don’t worry I’m not uncovering a secret in my household. My husband has already called me out on it. Last week I came out and said, “Ah, shouldn’t have eaten that soup.” He replies with, “I know you didn’t even go. You didn’t flush the toilet and I heard you watching the 50 Shades of Gray trailer”…. Oops?

I feel like a dumpling. I have so many friends that pop their babies out and are back in their size zero jeans, but me? No, I feel like a loose, flabby dumpling. It could be the frozen yogurt I ate for lunch today… or yesterday………….or the day before.

I’m going to join the Gym. Not happy about your body? Do something about it, right? Wrong, I’m joining because it includes free daycare. Now I can eat my frozen yogurt in the sauna, in peace.

I hated my husband. Poor guy; I wanted to punch him in the face for the first four weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and we have an amazing relationship, but I have never been so frustrated in my entire life. People always told me, “If you get tired of baby screaming just walk away and take a break.” Well, I have never once got tired of Liam crying, but my husband snoring? Yeah, that is the most annoying sound I’ve ever heard. I’m not sure exactly what made me want to punch him. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t in pain, slept 8 hours each night, still played softball, got a social life and I was just hoping I’d get the chance to wash off the crusted sour milk stuck down my back.

Asking for Help. Around the 4 week mark I had a mental breakdown. I called every single one of my friends and asked them how they do it. The answer is simple and they all said the same thing, take a moment to enjoy something you love whether that is ice cream, your favorite show or a glass of wine.

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Sarah Flagg is a work at home mother of one; Liam who is 5 months old. Her and her husband live in Lake Tahoe, NV with their two dogs. She takes an intuitive approach while parenting and focuses on living in the moment. Sarah owns her own marketing company, enjoys meditation, and likes to write with a humorous (but realistic) attitude.

Tags: Mom confessions, new mom, New Moms, funnies, funny mom, Parent Tips and Tricks

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